Ego

sometimes, the vicious ego in us try to convince us that by making ourself the pathetic and vengeful little character we become more worthy than the one lives with no resentment n rages.well, that's so wrong.couldnt be more wrong.i used to feel that way, the ego way, but all of the sudden, something came in, i was like, hey, why must i make myself into that kind of character? and the answer i gave myself is: i feel better like such,i feel like nobody is going to hurt me or look down at me if im acting like such(in general,i feel more self-worthy in that way) looks, this is how the ego works.it has works in me for a very very long time.well, a lil embarrass to admit it, but i wanna to get over this, so, gotta face it.i was blogging about a comment that i saw on facebook just now, i was devastated, writing down my feelings(to be more precise, it's my negative emotions) and crying all over the words that i spell out myself.do u see how it works? i no longer remember what the content of the facebook is anymore,all that i remember is that i was deeply hurt and offended by the comment.so all the emotions came.and u noe? i always thought that i will never smile n laugh like i ever did when i have all these downhills moment.the thing i like the most about myself,my laughter, nothing else.it was like the world is collapsing, and i really dunno what's the purpose of living,(well, until now i still havent figure out what the hell is the purpose of me living, but since im living, just carry it on! that's all), and i feel like closing my eyes, let my eyes lid fall and to never wake up again.but just a sudden slip of attention, just one glimpse on someone's facebook page, i was distracted.and now that im not overwhelmed by my own-created negative emotions, the dimension flows swiftly in.the world regains its dimension.its space.and then, i was laughing already at one of the very funny video shared on facebook. tik! then i was like, hey!why am i laughing??im supposed to be sad n depressed!" well, but i didnt answer to myself this time.i dunno what the answer is.well that's not important either.because,THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS , I FEEL GOOD NOW.well, by saying this, im not saying that i forget totally about what has happened, i do learn something from this incident, but i wont let the emotions, the ego overwhelm me and make me its prisoner.

ok...done with all those boring philosophy.now.I FEEL AT PEACE.

live life,

focus on the present.