we have a first batch of day care guest today.
they were all new to Hospis, there were these very cute granpa n granma...
there was this old aunty who held my hand to her and say thank you when i first approached her.she was so so grateful to have been invited to the day care, even before she barely know me she said thank you to me already. i guess i will never forget what she said to me, "lu lai zhik bian chit to ar?"(u come here for fun?) read that in hokkien..Lmao, i started laughing when i heard that, it sounded really funny at that time!! then i told her im actually the volunteer there. then again she said thank you to me, she said she is very happy to be there. I chit chat with her in hokkien, try to imagine how funny tat was, im pretty sure my hokkien will get better and better!! sometimes she spoke chinese also, LMAO, my hokkien sucks, whenever she talks too fast i will be lost and dont understand what is she talking about.. she is really a very heart-warming and nice granma..she is so grateful to everything and willing to take part in every event of the day care programme..=) glad to have met her..we sat together when we were having lunch, she has taken herself the dishes that she wanted, when she has taken the first bite of the food, the first thing she said " hmmm, nice! very nice!!" she is just so sweet <3
another granpa that I've met today had sort of mild Alzheimer...he was sort of blur...and at the same time of being blur he didnt enjoy companion...or maybe he just doesnt know hot to mix with other people..most of the time he was sitting by himself, eating his lunch or just doing nothing..before knowing that he was actuali so blur, i went to talk to him, i thought he is just that typical quiet old man who doesn't talk much, know nothing that he is actually quite blur, so i started chatting with him..brought him some fruits, i went to sit by his side. it was actually quite hard to start a conversation with a stranger, especially an old man who doesn't talk much, so i struggle a bit at first, but there is something quite cute about this old man, when u look at him, struggling to start the conversation but nothing has came up to ur mind yet so u just look at him, he will stare at you too, there was something about that stare that i cant describe but it was very heart-warming, hmmm, let me think, was that a smile? im not sure, but when he was staring at you, there's no fear, no embarrassment, no awkwardness, it was merely just a stare. you know how sometimes we feel awkward to stare at people when you are not saying anything? or even you are saying something to that person but somehow u feel weird to stare, just not that comfortable , you just feel awkward or weird..but that granpa, his stare was so affirming, it's like he is encouraging you to say out loud whatever that you want to say to him, but i believe tat wasnt on purpose, just for ur information, he was really blur, mild alzheimer.the first thing i try on a conversation was about his job when he was young, he told me that he works in rubber estate.
"that must be a very tiring job wasn't it??"
"yes."
"my granma used to help her parents in rubber estate also."
he smiled.
" u woke up very early everyday to go to work??"
"yes."
"oh, but good also, you get off from work very early also right?? around 5 or 6??"
"yea, u're rite."
"Hmmmm, do you want to play cards?? let's play together!"
silent for awhile,
"you dunno how to play??"
"yea, i dunno."
"u've never gamble when u were young??"
"no."
"wa..so nice, how about drinking?? did u drink??
"no."
"wa! wat a nice husband n father!! ur son must love u a lot!!"
a broad smile on his face. genuinely delighted.
" okay, if u dun play card what do u normally do??"
he was thinking very hard. after awhile, no answer came out.
" do you want to watch tv? shall i push you to tv room? we can watch tv together =D"
" no.....don't want..."
" you dun like to watch tv??"
he shook his head slightly.
"hmmmm, okay then, so we will just stay here and chit chat k?? so you dun watch tv, can u read newspaper?”
" no i can't read."
"oooo, hmmm, then what are you interested in when you are young?? badminton?? basketball??"
this time without a moment of delaying, his answer was
"make money lo! haha.."
"hahaaha, really ar?? "
smiling.
"haha, but now u dun hav to think about money isn't it? now u can relax n enjoy. ur son wil take care of you rite"
smiling
"haha, so don't you feel boring? "
shaking head
"u noe how to play bingo??come lets me teach you =)"
i took out the bingo n started telling him how to play.
but it seem like he couldnt get it, guess bingo is too complicated a game for him.
"you like to watch people moving around rite?"
nooded. ( he will constantly looking here and there , looking at those people who moves around us.
"ooo, so u dun feel bored by watching people"
"do u hav son??"
"yea, i have 2 sons"
"oooo, how old is ur son?"
"21"
"wa....ur son is very young."
smiling
"then they are all married??"
"yea."
" they are staying with you?"
"yes, we all staying together."
"wa,u're very lucky la granpa."
" really?"
"yeala! u noe i saw a popo at pasar malam last week, she was begging for money there. i wonder whether she gt children or not. u noe how lucky n blissfil it is to have son n grandchildren?? see how lucky u are! ur sons are taking care of you, u got granchildren around you =)"
"hahaha, yea, good good"
"what's your son's name?
"李嘉隆"
"why lei ka long??? u should name him lei ka sheng（李嘉诚） ma!! then he will be very very rich!!!"
smiling broad " hahaha"
"how old is ur grandchildren??
"21."
"????? 21???? oooo....."
puzzled for awhile @.@
"do u wan coffee?? can u drink coffee???
"yes,yes."
"okay, u wait for awhile, i wil make u coffee =D"
so we were drinking coffee and talking.
he actually couldnt really manage to drink by his own, i assisted him a bit, feeding him like he was a child. and what's funny is, the way he drink was exactly like a kids, tilting his head up a bit while u feed him, etc etc.. have u ever feed a children?? if u did then u will noe..
it was getting easier n easier talking to him,
he didnt feel embarrassed, just talk to me like a small kids, smiling n laughing occasionally.
lots and lots of conversation btw us...
later i only i found out that tat uncle is having mild alzheimer,
he has 6 sons instead f the 2 that he told me,
so his son is definitely older than 21,
he son is staying in cheras, petaling jaya, subang and bla bla bla.
so he isnt staying with all of them, maybe he was, but that was years n years ago when his children are still very young.
then the maid told me to ask him whether he has taken his lunch dy or not,
so i did,
n he shook his head,
then i smiled.
haha, but he is reali cute,
he is exactly like a small kids, in a way that i cant describe.
"will you still come here next week?"
smiling and nooding.
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i feel so sorry for not having a chance to treat my granpa that way, feel so sorry for not having a chance to tell him i really love him a lot...
that were the 2 ppl whom i attended to the most in today's day care programme. there were other people, but it's just too much if i were to write everything.
there was this young lady, she was only in her middle 30 i think.she has got cartilage cancer.yes, cartilage cancer. never heard of it?? yes, it is a kind of very rare cancer. her doctor told her to make a list of things that she wants to do, she did, and then she was saying " i've did everything that i wanted to do la, i've done everything in the list la! so every morning i wake up i feel like im given one more day, it is a gift."she was smiling, a faint sign of resentment, but u can see grateful all over her face, and she was very peaceful, atleast she is at peace with herself.
another lady said," i've bought everything, casket, clothting, i even took photo for my lorry dy lo! im all prepared for it."
everyone on the table nooded, deep inside my heart, i admire this lady's courages and generosity about life, they might have complained or have been angry about what god has arranged for them, what live made them gone through, the pain of having to leave their love one, the suffer for chemotherapy, their physical pain and many more, but now, they are brave to face the fact that god has chosen them to be on this path, and they are general to take whatever that live gives them, and are so generous to not demand for more than what they have been given.
isn't that they beauty of living? to appreciate and be grateful of whatever that we have and not to demand for more or be resent or bitter about what we do not have?
the coordinator of the day care programme sent me home today, on our way back, she told me about the lady with cartilage cancer whose name is winnie, she is very open about death, she even has taught her 2 young children about her leaving, she told them what to do when she is not around anymore. so u see? not everyone on earth get to have a mother to be with them as they grow up.
the coordinator, wai mun, she also told me not to get too attached to patients in the day care,
she said it is advisable not too attached to the patient.
" you know when they pass on, it might affects ur emotion, so it's good not to get too attached to them. we have had a lot of experiences about patients passing on, but we are already very experienced and we can take care of our emotion n not get too depressed. u noe?"
i know what she was trying to get me to understand. i wont get too attached to them, i understand people has to go,but the day hasn't come yet, so i didnt really think much about that...
they are all part of my life experiences, spending time with them i cant really say i did learn something from them, but they make me happy, spending time with them is easy,heart-warming,joyful and feels solid, i feel that im closer to life.
LOL.....
p/s: another funny thing is that the popo was speaking hokkien and that granpa was speaking cantonese, sometimes i got so confused that i speak cantonese to that granpa n hokkien to that granma
