^^ song that melts my heart

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

cockroach + housemate = tears and touched

T______T

im a bitch !!!

urghhhh,

i hate it when i just scream without using my brain to purking think whenever i saw cockroach =((

i feel so so so sorry for my housemate sleeping in the room beside me =((

im so so so sorry =((

ran down in full speed to downstairs,

grace and jia yee hav already gotten up from their chairs,

arrrrrrr.....

how the heaven did i come to know these people~~~

they are so so so sweet!!!

they went up and help me to get rid of the stupid cockroach>.<

LOL....

they were so so so so so nice T______T

im so so so so touched!!!

they even moved my wardrobe to help me to catch that stupid thing...

awhhhhhh,

remind me of that time when im with jhii,

when i couldnt sleep the whole nite after a stupid c came into our room,

i kept fidgeting on my bed,

she woke up and light the lavender thingy so that i can relaxed and go to sleep easier...

awhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

thanks~

LOVE u guys!!!

Love my LIFE =)

LOVE my life =D

great housemates,

funny classmates,

wonderful mums,

caring friends,

sort of soul-mate-ish ex-roomie

sweet close friends,

bla bla bla...

=D

things might be changing every now and then,

i know i couldnt hold on to this moment forever

but at least i fully enjoy this period of time

n be grateful for everything that came into my life =)


went to hospis today =D

did my first foot massage for a patient =D

hehe, i suck at it.. felt so paiseh when i was doing =)

there is this lady who has to stop coming as she has to start her chemotherapy tmlw,

wish her all the best..

from what they hav been sharing n telling,

i've come to know how destructive and helpful chemotherapy can be,

ironically, chemotherapy helps to kill those cancer cells,

but it's sort of taking ur time away, drenching ur body of energy,

and for me, it's taking life away to keep people alive,

i overheard someone's conversation today,

there is this lady who went through depression after she was diagnosed with cancer..

they said when she came to hospis, she scolded people a lot, and she couldnt eat, and

was wearing thin very fast,

sign of depression i think?

and then she came to hospis,

still very grumpy and cranky though,

but she started to talk to people, interact with other patients,

and then her mood was lifted obviously,

and then she started eating and gained weight.. =)

great isn't it?

for that period of time, she was happy and shinning from inwards,

but i heard the first time after she did her chemotherapy,

she was bedridden for four months,

i think maybe this was the cause of she getting into depression too...

and then the bad news came,

her cancer cells had started splitting and spreading again, and she has to do chemo again...

but the first impression that chemotherapy left in her mind was so overwhelming agonizing that she can't imagine herself going through all that again,

and she decided not to do it again..

and i think after few months or some time.(not sure how long, but not long for sure),

she has passed on...

hmmmmmmm, speechless,

it might sounds like a very sad ending,

but think of the happy n shinning moments she had before her cancer attacks again...

*************************************************************************************

to be healthy and happy is the best thing that we can have on earth,

and to be happy is the best approach to be healthy,

and to be happy, gratitude is the universal link to it,

all are related........ =)


BE GRATEFUL, BE HAPPY , AND BE HEALTHY...

***********************************************************************************

欣芯

有的时候真的觉得欣芯在默默地陪着我，
哈哈哈， 我疯了。

Mama I love you!!!

most beautiful smile

went to pasar malam with friends ystrdy nite, bought a packet of mee, wanted to give it a beggar , an old popo.

this longest pasar malam in malaysia is full of people =.=
cant even see what's ahead of me.
had to keep searching for the popo.

she usually sit on the floor n begging for money.
considering the number of people walking by, the heat, the chou dou fu smell,
i wonder how an elderly like her can stand all these..
she would sit on the floor for hours, craning her head to beg for money from people.

walk to her when i finally saw her,
gave the food to her and she looked at me,
puzzled,
so i bent down and pat on her shoulder, told her the food was for her.

and then she smiled.
for a moment i was dazzled by the smile.
it was so beautiful that my mind was all blank.

she said thank you and i walked away, unable to speak for awhile.


for a moment i was doubted, " can she be a beggar?"
that smile was full of appreciation and satisfaction, i saw no sign of inadequacy in that smile, she smiled as if she has everything in the world.

how many of us who has a car, even few cars,
living in big house,
wearing branded shoes, eating desserts
but still do not smile like she did?

to be grateful to life is the way to hapiness =D

＝）

每次回到家，心里总是有满满的快乐，满足＋幸福　＝）
我应该会越来越青春美丽吧？！

她的笑容

昨天去了一趟夜市，
随手买了一包面，
打算要给一个在路边讨钱的婆婆。

走了好久才看见她，
这个号称全马最长的夜市可真的不是盖的，
人是多到外看不见前方。

她一个人坐在路上，
身边拥挤的人潮来来往往，
一个这么年老的婆婆怎么能受得了那种闷热？
连续几个小时，
他就这样坐在地上向人乞讨。

走向他，
把手上的食物交给他，
应该是有中听，
他傻傻的看着我。

弯下身子，
拍拍他的肩膀，
在她耳边说：“婆婆，给你吃的！”

夜市太吵了，
也没有多说什么。

但是这个时候她的笑容，
觉得心里震了一下，
那个笑容，
很真很美。

瞬间想问
“她真的是乞丐吗？”
那个笑容，
满满是感恩和快乐，
多少的人，
有车有楼有得吃有得穿，
却从没那样笑过？

人，　知足最快乐。

T_____T

i want to get a car in kl!!

lol... there are so many places that i want to go.....arghhhhhhhh.....
T______T

真好

有人疼真好，

没人疼的人，

自己先疼疼自己，

自己先宠宠自己，

哪天有人疼了，

再一次撒娇撒个够 =D

***********************************************************************************

忍不住啦！！！ 真的很想买啊~！！！如果有人肯载我去我就买！！！

******************************************************************

人之初，性本善。

所以说，哪个讲师可以令到十多个人同时讲出同一句：

“我真的很想打他！” ，

可见得他的罪孽有多重~

阿弥陀佛 ， god bless u...

哈哈哈！

又是美好的一天！！ =D

我亲爱的花在一天天茁壮成长！！

祝你永远青春美丽 =D

Be GRATEFUL

went to Hospis today,

we have a first batch of day care guest today.

they were all new to Hospis, there were these very cute granpa n granma...

there was this old aunty who held my hand to her and say thank you when i first approached her.she was so so grateful to have been invited to the day care, even before she barely know me she said thank you to me already. i guess i will never forget what she said to me, "lu lai zhik bian chit to ar?"(u come here for fun?) read that in hokkien..Lmao, i started laughing when i heard that, it sounded really funny at that time!! then i told her im actually the volunteer there. then again she said thank you to me, she said she is very happy to be there. I chit chat with her in hokkien, try to imagine how funny tat was, im pretty sure my hokkien will get better and better!! sometimes she spoke chinese also, LMAO, my hokkien sucks, whenever she talks too fast i will be lost and dont understand what is she talking about.. she is really a very heart-warming and nice granma..she is so grateful to everything and willing to take part in every event of the day care programme..=) glad to have met her..we sat together when we were having lunch, she has taken herself the dishes that she wanted, when she has taken the first bite of the food, the first thing she said " hmmm, nice! very nice!!" she is just so sweet <3

another granpa that I've met today had sort of mild Alzheimer...he was sort of blur...and at the same time of being blur he didnt enjoy companion...or maybe he just doesnt know hot to mix with other people..most of the time he was sitting by himself, eating his lunch or just doing nothing..before knowing that he was actuali so blur, i went to talk to him, i thought he is just that typical quiet old man who doesn't talk much, know nothing that he is actually quite blur, so i started chatting with him..brought him some fruits, i went to sit by his side. it was actually quite hard to start a conversation with a stranger, especially an old man who doesn't talk much, so i struggle a bit at first, but there is something quite cute about this old man, when u look at him, struggling to start the conversation but nothing has came up to ur mind yet so u just look at him, he will stare at you too, there was something about that stare that i cant describe but it was very heart-warming, hmmm, let me think, was that a smile? im not sure, but when he was staring at you, there's no fear, no embarrassment, no awkwardness, it was merely just a stare. you know how sometimes we feel awkward to stare at people when you are not saying anything? or even you are saying something to that person but somehow u feel weird to stare, just not that comfortable , you just feel awkward or weird..but that granpa, his stare was so affirming, it's like he is encouraging you to say out loud whatever that you want to say to him, but i believe tat wasnt on purpose, just for ur information, he was really blur, mild alzheimer.the first thing i try on a conversation was about his job when he was young, he told me that he works in rubber estate.

"that must be a very tiring job wasn't it??"

"yes."

"my granma used to help her parents in rubber estate also."

he smiled.

" u woke up very early everyday to go to work??"

"yes."

"oh, but good also, you get off from work very early also right?? around 5 or 6??"

"yea, u're rite."

"Hmmmm, do you want to play cards?? let's play together!"

silent for awhile,

"you dunno how to play??"

"yea, i dunno."

"u've never gamble when u were young??"

"no."

"wa..so nice, how about drinking?? did u drink??

"no."

"wa! wat a nice husband n father!! ur son must love u a lot!!"

a broad smile on his face. genuinely delighted.

" okay, if u dun play card what do u normally do??"

he was thinking very hard. after awhile, no answer came out.

" do you want to watch tv? shall i push you to tv room? we can watch tv together =D"

" no.....don't want..."

" you dun like to watch tv??"

he shook his head slightly.

"hmmmm, okay then, so we will just stay here and chit chat k?? so you dun watch tv, can u read newspaper?”

" no i can't read."

"oooo, hmmm, then what are you interested in when you are young?? badminton?? basketball??"

this time without a moment of delaying, his answer was

"make money lo! haha.."

"hahaaha, really ar?? "

smiling.

"haha, but now u dun hav to think about money isn't it? now u can relax n enjoy. ur son wil take care of you rite"

smiling

"haha, so don't you feel boring? "

shaking head

"u noe how to play bingo??come lets me teach you =)"

i took out the bingo n started telling him how to play.

but it seem like he couldnt get it, guess bingo is too complicated a game for him.

"you like to watch people moving around rite?"

nooded. ( he will constantly looking here and there , looking at those people who moves around us.

"ooo, so u dun feel bored by watching people"

"do u hav son??"

"yea, i have 2 sons"

"oooo, how old is ur son?"

"21"

"wa....ur son is very young."

smiling

"then they are all married??"

"yea."

" they are staying with you?"

"yes, we all staying together."

"wa,u're very lucky la granpa."

" really?"

"yeala! u noe i saw a popo at pasar malam last week, she was begging for money there. i wonder whether she gt children or not. u noe how lucky n blissfil it is to have son n grandchildren?? see how lucky u are! ur sons are taking care of you, u got granchildren around you =)"

"hahaha, yea, good good"

"what's your son's name?

"李嘉隆"

"why lei ka long??? u should name him lei ka sheng（李嘉诚） ma!! then he will be very very rich!!!"

smiling broad " hahaha"

"how old is ur grandchildren??

"21."

"????? 21???? oooo....."

puzzled for awhile @.@

"do u wan coffee?? can u drink coffee???

"yes,yes."

"okay, u wait for awhile, i wil make u coffee =D"

so we were drinking coffee and talking.

he actually couldnt really manage to drink by his own, i assisted him a bit, feeding him like he was a child. and what's funny is, the way he drink was exactly like a kids, tilting his head up a bit while u feed him, etc etc.. have u ever feed a children?? if u did then u will noe..

it was getting easier n easier talking to him,

he didnt feel embarrassed, just talk to me like a small kids, smiling n laughing occasionally.

lots and lots of conversation btw us...

later i only i found out that tat uncle is having mild alzheimer,

he has 6 sons instead f the 2 that he told me,

so his son is definitely older than 21,

he son is staying in cheras, petaling jaya, subang and bla bla bla.

so he isnt staying with all of them, maybe he was, but that was years n years ago when his children are still very young.

then the maid told me to ask him whether he has taken his lunch dy or not,

so i did,

n he shook his head,

then i smiled.

haha, but he is reali cute,

he is exactly like a small kids, in a way that i cant describe.

"will you still come here next week?"

smiling and nooding.

***********************************************************************************

i feel so sorry for not having a chance to treat my granpa that way, feel so sorry for not having a chance to tell him i really love him a lot...

that were the 2 ppl whom i attended to the most in today's day care programme. there were other people, but it's just too much if i were to write everything.

there was this young lady, she was only in her middle 30 i think.she has got cartilage cancer.yes, cartilage cancer. never heard of it?? yes, it is a kind of very rare cancer. her doctor told her to make a list of things that she wants to do, she did, and then she was saying " i've did everything that i wanted to do la, i've done everything in the list la! so every morning i wake up i feel like im given one more day, it is a gift."she was smiling, a faint sign of resentment, but u can see grateful all over her face, and she was very peaceful, atleast she is at peace with herself.

another lady said," i've bought everything, casket, clothting, i even took photo for my lorry dy lo! im all prepared for it."

everyone on the table nooded, deep inside my heart, i admire this lady's courages and generosity about life, they might have complained or have been angry about what god has arranged for them, what live made them gone through, the pain of having to leave their love one, the suffer for chemotherapy, their physical pain and many more, but now, they are brave to face the fact that god has chosen them to be on this path, and they are general to take whatever that live gives them, and are so generous to not demand for more than what they have been given.

isn't that they beauty of living? to appreciate and be grateful of whatever that we have and not to demand for more or be resent or bitter about what we do not have?

the coordinator of the day care programme sent me home today, on our way back, she told me about the lady with cartilage cancer whose name is winnie, she is very open about death, she even has taught her 2 young children about her leaving, she told them what to do when she is not around anymore. so u see? not everyone on earth get to have a mother to be with them as they grow up.

the coordinator, wai mun, she also told me not to get too attached to patients in the day care,

she said it is advisable not too attached to the patient.

" you know when they pass on, it might affects ur emotion, so it's good not to get too attached to them. we have had a lot of experiences about patients passing on, but we are already very experienced and we can take care of our emotion n not get too depressed. u noe?"

i know what she was trying to get me to understand. i wont get too attached to them, i understand people has to go,but the day hasn't come yet, so i didnt really think much about that...

they are all part of my life experiences, spending time with them i cant really say i did learn something from them, but they make me happy, spending time with them is easy,heart-warming,joyful and feels solid, i feel that im closer to life.

LOL.....

p/s: another funny thing is that the popo was speaking hokkien and that granpa was speaking cantonese, sometimes i got so confused that i speak cantonese to that granpa n hokkien to that granma

这个家 .......^___^ 感恩

这个家，
不舒服的时候，
会有人敲你的门，
那要给你吃。

这个家，
你心情不好，
和男友吵架了，会有人闯入你的房间，
为你打包不平。

这个家，
夜深了你还是睡不着，
楼下永远会有一堆人等着你聊天。

这个家，
你没钱吃晚饭,
会有人敲你的门，
“晚饭煮多了，你就帮帮忙吃了！”

这个家，早上一睡醒，
会有人敲你的门，
“麦当劳早餐买多了，一起吃吧！”

这个家，
放在餐桌上的，
往往都是
好玩煮出来的食物，
却也几好吃一下，
味精吃少了，
人也会美一点吧？

这个家，
几热闹一下，
几开心一下，
我，
几感恩一下，
几幸福一下。

^___^

Dont hate the PRESENT

Lmao...hahaha, i was kinda lazy to get up stairs and was rushing to class this morning, so instead of wearing my covered-shoes, i just got into my slippers and there i went to school =p

turns out, that pairs of slippers seriously dont match with my clothes, well, to be precise, it looked like i just came back from a fishing village u noe? u can practically imagine me carry a net while i walked to class, LMAO, yes, it was sort of embarassing...hahaha..i kept seeing reflection in mirrors , windows while i was on my way to my class, LMAO, n all i think was "ewwwwppphssss, bad try huh?"

and then wat happen??

logically, i should be feeling very uncomfortable with my outfits, should avoid looking into the mirror wherever i go, should be feeling grumpy for being lazy in the first place, should be flooded by resentment of unsatisfaction of the moment, well, that was what i was about to start feeling, and then i was thinking,

hmmmmm, why am i feeling all that negative feelings? now what? screwing up the wearing in the morning means that i have to screw up my morning also? not like this clothing n the pair of slippers is gonna stick on my skin forever, so what, just not wear like this anymore next time, whats the biggy? LMAO, so what when people stares? I find it amusing weyyyy, I LOOK FUNKY!!! even though i wont wear like that anymore, but for that moment at that time i love that outfits! LMAO


then i was thinking,

nothing ever happened around or on us can ever ruin our moment,
never say this gives u a bad moment n that screwed ur day,
whatever whenever n whoever that was,
nothing can ever confiscate ur (happy, joyful or peaceful) moment,
everything is in the mind,
learn to be in alignment with the moment,
do not resist the moment,
learn that the outer is just the outer,
u can be wanting to look good,
but do not get too obsessed with it that it gets to determine who u are,

eg: u're a happy child, confident kids when u're wearing nice outfits,
grumpy, unhappy, low-confident girl when wat u're wearing doesn't seem rite.

see what im trying to say?? nope, that shoudnt be that way, do not get too obsessed with it that it gets control over you, the present moment is more important than what other people think of you. yes, i may really want to get back home as soon as possible and change into a better looking outfits at that moment, but that suppose to be just part of my thoughts, it shouldnt have hijacked my whole thinking system n making all my thoughts is to get bek home get bek home because i hate wearing like this i hate people staring at me i hate it because i feel like people are judging me they are looking down at me they are laughing at me bla bla bla bla bla....

does it ring the bell??
sound familiar to what is happening to you almost daily??

be in alignment with the present,
do not screw up the present n looking forward to the coming moment without any appreciation for this PRESENT moment which inevitably going to determine how all ur coming moment is going to be like,
you can never live the future nor the past, except only in ur mind,
we can only live the PRESENT =)

smile =)
remember, whatever that is happening,
no matter how important it seems to be,
that too will pass,
this too will pass,
everything will pass,

only our consciousness remained,
we remained.


smile =)
what's the biggy?? what's the big deal??
we all have more important things to do, which is to feel happy n peaceful at the present moment.

*******************LIVE THE PRESENT*******************************

The relaxing Lazy Song ~

Bruno is really a genius, isn't him??
Love his song!!!
and this is is really special, it sounded normal to me when i listen to it through my phone but this time when i listen to it through youtube in which he was singing it LIVE, omg, that "lazy" feeling was everywhere!! he is really cool, it feels like he can really brings you to where he actually intended to bring you when the song was first written =D

enjoy this song =)




here is the lyrics,


Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I can't

I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie
Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man

Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all, nothing at all

Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/bruno-mars-lyrics/the-lazy-song-lyrics.html )
This is great
(Oh my god, this is great)

Yeah, I might mess around
And get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait

Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

No, I ain't gonna comb my hair
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I'll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

有意思 =）

=====〉 永远不要浪费一分一秒去想任何自己不喜欢的人事物

=======〉 对人恭敬就是在庄严自己

==========〉 慈悲是你最好的武器

=============〉 如果能够平平安安的度过一天， 那就是一种福气了。
多少人在今天已看不见明天的太阳，
多少人在今天已经失去了自由，
多少人在今天已家破人亡。



*** never spend a second thinking of those which u're not fond of....

**** to respect the other is to respect ourself

****** to be kind and merciful is the best armor we can have to protect ourself, nothing can ever hurt us except for our own mind

******** having to get back to our bed safely every night is a kind of blessing too.we have no idea how many people out there has already lost the chance to witness the sunrise of tomorrow nor do we know how many people has lost their freedom today. be grateful

taking a quantum leap

who is this guy???
dr.fred alan wolf
check this guy out!!!
he's cool wey...
got addicted to quantum physics, funny though, i hardly like physics in secondary school..lmao...
can i ask for my birthday present now??
i want tat freaking book!!
"TAKING THE QUANTUM LEAP" and "TIME LOOPS AND SPACE TWIST: HOW GOD CREATED THIS UNIVERSE"
everything started with just this 2 books:
>>>> the power of the secret
>>>> a new earth (THE NO.1 BOOK in my current record, strongly recommend this to eveyrone =D)


lmao, bought a plant ystrdy =D
gonna talk to the plant everyday =)
gonna take good care of it =D
stay tuned for me to find out more about time n quantum physics =D
will share more v u guys!!!
lmao...
got a phone call frm kampar =(
awwwhhh, they are all so sweet!!!
miss u guys!!!
wait for me!! i will be ther in june!!!

oh ya, and i've been doing volunteer job in Hospis recently =)
will try to upload some photo later =D
it's a great place where they are having a daycare centre for those chronically ill cancer patients..
though they say those are chronically ill patients but i can see some of them are mentally healthy..
it's a place where u give and serve others without demanding anything in return, as what u're giving is invaluable and nothing in return can ever define it...
LOVE it is that im saying...
glad to be given a chance to do tat =D
n a billion zillion thanks to those who send me to n bek from Hospis =)
will share more on this in next few post..
anyway im actually still very new there, and the last few weeks i only went there on thursday, from this week onwards im going every tuesday thurs =D cheer for that weyyy =p

till then =）
***********************************************************************************

p/s: whatever happens around you, Dont take it personally...Nothing other people do is ever because of you.It is because of themselve.
不要太在意发生在你周围的事，别人做的任何事，全是因为他们自己的想法，从来不是因为你做了什么~